Water Works Get the Slavic Wrath

Back to Idiot Village.

Idiot Village now has a name. It's 'Kocurkovo', pronounced kotsoorkovo, and it means male pussy village (which is really very appropriate if you are fortunate enough to know any male pussies).
I felt it wise that the name be in Slovac because whenever the kocurs come they will and do get the experience of Baba's full blown Fury. My mother does not suffer fools.

Yesterday's kocur came in the person of fat, dumpy, gross man driving a big tank with scoup. "Oh...like de one's 'pon de ABC Highway mummy..." Yes IZ.

Kocur drives into the yard in a white pick-up and parks to count the clouds and smell his own farts. My mother comes out to see who he is. He's with water works. The main's burst again. He'll be excavating.

Of course, after 11 years, you know better than to be informed, let alone asked, if a thousand ton machine can roll into your backyard and tear away your land. But Kocur does make a request. Can he go through the back behind the new house being built? "No, says mums, take the truck through the front gate and come down like you always do."

Well, in Kocurkovo that translates as "Do whatever you'd like" and so fat, dumpy, gross man goes through the back, behind the new house and spends the day excavating our rock.

This morning, Ricky goes out to investigate. The spring water pipe (our only source of water because the BWA thinks we drink air), is burst in two places having had the thousand ton tank roll on top of it all day. I sometimes wonder why water works doesn't put a question mark behind the name. As in, your water works? Don't worry we'll fix that.

Good man that Ricky is, he mends the pipe and comes in to gripe as to why mums let the man drive through the back.

My mother was not what you'd call amused. She smoked herself patiently until Kocur returned. He came just as I was leaving for work. Ricky went first (good cop) "So why yuh had tuh drive tru de back dough? Yuh bus up de spring wadda pipe." Kocur takes out his penis and without turning from Ricky (and mums marching 3 feet behind)pisses on the the grass, zips, and replies that he wasn't told 'bout no pipes.

That was it. The Fire Raged. (Bad Cop) I don't have to give you an explanation of my life. I told you don't drive behind the house and you still do whatever the hell you like. You Kocurs think you can come in here like it's your very own water works yard!!! And on and on.

"Who sent you to do the work?"
"I dohn know- I forget he name?"
Why didn't you come through the gate like I told you?
"De truck did too big."

OK. My mother cooled off a little, I mean if the truck's too big it's too big. But wouldn't you know? Water Works have gotten their hands on some fine ass machinery because apparently all you need to do is press a button on the dash and the tank squeezes to half the width.

Kocur rolled the maginficent tank in through the gate and went down the hill to see how many more Neem trees he could devastate.