Mending the Code

Thank you Nation newspaper for clearing the fog. I didn't fully grasp the meaning of 'breaking the code'. I vaguely knew it was about teenagers and phone sex but I took it to be more broad based and metaphorical. I was interpretating "breaking the code" to mean "finding the solution". Once again, my naïveté has hoodwinked me.
The break the code seminar seems to have been ironically literal. The objective was to educate parents that when our younger reflections discuss tea bags they aren't debating the quality of Twinnings versus Lipton nor when they go diving for pearls are they engaging in an exciting new nautical passtime for the aquatically talented. One man divulged that he brilliantly deciphered the girl next to him who "baked sweet bread and licked the icing" wasn't a pastry chef. He's a super smart guy. Because as Ms. Marshall keeps saying over and over and over- these girls are using "highly sophisticated" methods and frankly, I'm surprised they didn't invite some of those windtalkers to the meeting. Those cryptograms ain't easy!
Sadly, I've reached the age where I don't need to let my honey bunny know that the PAW (parents are watching). I can text any smut that I want and I earn enough money to pay for the words unabbreviated. But though sex is sanctioned for us adults there are a multitude of things that are not so acceptable and I think this whole code text thing has opened our eyes to the invaluable possibilities of an old sliparoo. Instead of using the mundane to express our sexual desires we can use sexual imagery to vent about the state.

Here are some of my codes:

Sucking C*ck = choking on the bullshit the go*ernment run med*a feeds us.
Sh*t or C*m Licking = suf*ering the inadequacies of ro*d or wat*r works.
Stroking Hairy B*lls = engaging in com*unity develop*ent.
Org*es = educati*nal seminars for moronic par*nts.
Bl*w Jobs = de*th by A&E
P*ssy Eaters = CSME and CWC enthusi*sts.
F*cked up the *ss = being charged $16.*9 for a half gallon of m*lk.