Heart Attack

Sometimes, late at night, after too many beers and a little prompting, you might get a Bajan man to whisper about the dreaded 'heart/hearse men'. As the story goes, back in the 70's -early 80's, after the sun had set and the streets grew quiet, mortal danger, in the form of a black hearse, cruised through rural villages searching for anyone on the road- in the dark- by themselves. From what I understand, whilst a lonely adult would meet the requirement, a child forlorn was the objecive. The vehicle would pursue the target, the heart men would pull the victim inside the hearse and then, they would cut the child's little heart out of their chest cavity as part of some cultic ritual.

The cutting out of hearts, particularly of our children, is still, 30 years later, very much an intrinsic part of Bajan social order. We don't wait for the cover of moonlight anymore. We have much more sophisticated surgical methods. We've learnt to stretch the process from infancy into adulthood, extricating the heart out bit by bit. In fact we've gotten so unashamedly good at it, that we've managed to convince the nation's psyche that the victim never had a heart to begin with so that after we've removed the heart, we get the added pleasure of our own moral superiority.

We steal $60,000.00 of court paid child support. We charge $16.99 for a half gallon of milk. We buy ourselves a shiny new four door with the money and we put you in front of the court for not having reflectors on your bicycle. We expell you from school at 15. We harass you, we belittle you, we crush your self worth. When you point your gun at an officer at 17, we do not hesitate to gun you down. You're street trash. A scourge on society. Send him off in the hearse! By the way, we caught your sister making sex videos on her cell phone. She's 13. We've been talking about her on the air but we're keeping her anonymous. At 13 she should know what seriousness sex is! Hell, we've been teaching her about it every crop over since she was born! She should know the consequences of her actions! She was, after all, the product of a sixteen year old mother! There's no excuses for her lascivious behaviour! Call her home to get ready for her "uncle", milk costs $16.99 for a half gallon, you know. Well of course she has AIDS at 19. She was nothing but a two bit whore. A scourge on society. Send her off in the hearse!
What's that? You've managed to survive your horrible childhood??!!! We'll just usher you to work through heavy traffic, with back biters and brow beaters who steal from the till, break in your car or just rob you of your ideas and myrth. If that doesn't rip your heart out, we'll spread wicked stories about you, sabotage your happiness, smile in your face and laugh behind your back...exploit you and generally fuck you over... One way or another we'll get you in that hearse!

I don't know 'bout the rest of you but I ain't letting no heart men get the better of me. With the state my road is in no hearse goin' bother come by me anyway. And just in case I'm wrong, I've forged my heart from the rattling chains of the steel donkey.