Right Hay When You Want Dem

The lapse has been long, I know. I have been preoccupied somewhat and impeded somewhat more. What could possibly impede me from sharing with my readership the tales of life in the sun, one may ask? Well…in part…rain. But not rain exactly rather the brain drain that rain summons in a land run by kocurs.

Be direct- you demand. I shall try.

The latest kocurs come in the form of Cable and Wireless, our telephone dictators, who dangle us by the balls as they force us to listen to the calypso rendition of how they’ll be right here when we want them for a minimum torture period of 20 minutes each call. I have had to endure over an hour of how they’ll be right here when I need them- and of course- they are not.

The rain.

Every time it rains my phone begins to crackle getting progressively worse until it cuts off entirely. I called them early to correct the fault but of course, they didn’t rush and my phone went off. It was only when I pleaded that a lonely house with no phone is a danger waiting to happen, that they fixed it- that was today- a mere week after the problem began. So my phone should be working.

It should-but it is not.

Once the phone was repaired I was subsequently soft disconnected which means I cannot dial out. Although I have paid my bill, apparently I should have known better than to do so at the no line-up country post office. Ah me! No line of course means that everybody besides me knows that the post office doesn’t have a good working relationship with the phone company. I should have known better, the C&W operator informed me. In future, just because the bill says I can pay at the post office doesn’t mean that I should pay at the post office.

So you mean to tell me, I start, that I must pay for a service that does not work with a bill that has not arrived in a timely manner and still pay for my mobile bill which has had to work extra hard for the loss of my land line and my internet service which I cannot use whilst ensuring that when I pay, I do so in a location that is both awkward and time consuming so that when my phone actually does work, it will not be cut off?

Basically yes.

'We will reconnect your phone shortly', I am told. 'What is shortly?' I ask. 'In a few minutes', I am told. 'Is it on now?' You ask.

Of course not.

I spend another 20 minutes listening to how Cable and Wireless will be right here when I want them just to be told the very same thing by another very stoic operator.

And still one week and 24 hours later I am without phone.

(Please note that this blog was originally typed and saved on word to be cut and pasted on this blog a mere one week and 30 hours later.)