Ghetto Golf 2006

Having found repeated tyre tread marks in the freshly cut and very wet grass, Ricky set up a spy network to source who is out to smite his effort.

See, with this heavy rain, the tyres left big ugly grooves on the lawn, a lawn he has become VERY particular about.

Then a new discovery! He went out to pretty up by the cart road only to get tied up on banana stems strewn about. Literally tied, as the pieces of banana tree wrapped themselves around his whacker string.

He is now convinced that the banana hawker is out to deliberately sabotage him. To teach her a lesson, he has placed 'flags' (stakes of rod iron with pink plastic bags tied to the top) all around the grass to test whether she will disobey his bold sign of caution.

The lawn now looks like a ghetto golf course just in time for World Cup Golf. I'm gonna lure Tiger Woods away from Sandy Lane and set him to play a few rounds with the road works crew. You can purchase your Ghetto Golf 2006 tickets from any one sitting by the side of the road drinking rum and cursing loudly.