I'm Back

I'm back.

You can thank or blame the Bajan Reporter for that. We bumped into each other stupidly and he charged me with not having written since "June 7, 07". He gave me that 'where's your homework look', I uttered some lame excuse, felt like a right naughty girl and privately reconsidered my position on the matter. Ok ok Mr. Bourne, I'll amuse you.

What better day to return to the public than my boy's first day back at school?

He's been excited about his return to institutionalization for atleast a month now. This morning as I blew kisses at the morning traffic, his only concern was where he needed to line up for his particular class. I told him not to worry, his school is so oraginized they've probably pre-flushed the toilets the exact amount of times they're going to be used throughout the day. Sure enough, as we drove in, the parking sentinels were at their posts and the lice pickers were rearing to go. I dropped his freight in the "epaulets only" breezeway, drew blood at the treasurer and left him hangin' wid de boyz.

So here I am- back in my self-made confessional while my son is being matriculated. I too, need to get back to studying, even if it's only studying my world. Sometimes, I wish I'd studied etymology. Take the word "matriculation": from the latin "matrix" meaning breeding animal and later referring to the womb ('mater' meaning mother, of course). Apt. Indeed, the first day of school does feel somewhat surgical as my child is ripped from my womb and placed into the care of another breeding animal between the hours of 8:15 to 2:15.

Sir Hillary didn't miss this truth in his matriculation ceremony. Welcoming the new flock into the fold he payed special attention to ensuring his womb was sufficiently masculine to make the y's feel at ease. His new initiatives "MACHO" and "SEED" effectively convey the kind of breeding he hopes to get out of our boys. Hell, with80% female graduates something must be done to remind our sons that academic intelligence is all about "having or showing characteristics conventionally regarded as male, especially physical strength and courage, aggressiveness, and (a) lack of emotional response"(Encarta N.A dictionary). In the Nation Prof Beckles, ever the role model, promises to pursue the propagative dreams of our sons "very aggressively". And as these young men come home to sleepless nights and the most pain they've ever faced, they'll realise how beautiful it is to get their bubble jet printed piece of paper that proves how manly they are.

I reflect back on my own son, sitting on the stairs, motioning me to get lost so that he can look cool in front of his little friends and I'm so proud of his epaulets. So long as he's encouraged by programs that remind him he has a penis, he's sure to graduate top of class from his alma mater.