Lost In BIM

A truly Bajan experience is easily achieved by having no idea how to get somewhere and asking the natives for help.

I set out with an address- something like "Sunbeam-St. George" between Market Hill and Francia.
Pretty easy.

I drive to Market Hill and ask man on balcony watching traffic could you tell me how to find blah blah.

Man on balcony gets off balcony crosses road and says,

"Best ting fuh you to do is turn round and mek de first left, guh down to de gas station, pass de school and yuh know what part dey wokin' 'pon de cut rock? Is down tru a cyart road 'bout day. Yuh can get tur it from hay but de roads goin' get wunna confuse-"

Good directions.

I know the gas station, the school, the cut rock- I go.

When I get to the cut rock I ask fat man with dumb face sitting on house step "could you tell me how blah blah"

The man says "yeah I hear a dat place. Turn back pass de gas station and don' guh down to St. Joseph but foller de next road."

I say, "but it's supposed to be here- between Market Hill and Francia"

"Yeah I tink I did hear something 'bout that place tuh. Go straight 'den"

Thanks.

I turn left at the next available gap where I ask rasta man with the buckets of sweat and the red eyes "could you blah blah blah"

High as a kite he says with no breaks between the words...

"yuhgottagorounddatbendandfollowderoadandbackarounddereandpassdathouse
denroundtodeleftandroundtoderighttilyuhgettoahydrantyuhknowwhat'sahydrant?iswunnadosetingsfuhwaterwitderedtopturnuptrudererounddechurchandupsomemoh
denleftand
onetwotreeyuhdere."

He's standing in the road so a car wanting to pass blows the horn.

He shouts

"Drive de rasshole car yuh dumb fuck!!!"

The driver passes him and he starts back repeating the directions

"yuhhearwhatIdidtellinyuh?yuhgottarounddereand......."

At this point Ricky's going,

"Press Gas!!!!!"

I go a little farther and I see two guys looking pretty normal chatting on their bicycles "Can you blah blah blah"

The guys say.

"Turn left by de church"

Good directions

Left at the church but still not there yet I'm getting fed up driving slow and car man coming at me looks me in the face and drives by slow too. I ask "Can blah blah blah?"

"Tell you what to do" he says, "Follow me."

He drives me round a couple bends makes a few turns and stops.

"Go up tru day"

"thanks."

I drive across a cart road for 10 minutes that is less of a road and more of an X games track.
....ah cart road...(remember man #1)

I reach.

Thanks be to God.