The Masturbator of My Own Amusement
Ending my 8 year boycott of Shitey Whitey's didn't do much to aid me in my quest for distraction. Surrounded by drunk white people tripping over drunk white people luridly"dancing" up on drunk white people spilling their drinks on me, I felt rather supercilious.
As I was standing at the bar, trying very hard to breathe a stranger promised, with a soft lingering handshake, that if I was willing, he would whisk me away to Pahrree. It was straight out of an OC episode with Henri Michel. "I be-leeve in des-tinee. I theenk you ahrr tres mysterieuse..." I have to admit, the french flavour of male bullshit amused me for awhile particularly when he went to fetch me a drink. As he passed it to me in a suave Euro manner I asked him in jaded Canadian if he'd drugged it and he grinned and answered unruffed "mais oui and when you drink it you will fall in luhve with me." I made him take first sip.
Then I went upstairs to pee and started a cat fight for the hell of it. A little girl was asking for a light from a friend of mine. I got in her face and asked her what she was doing with my man. "Girlfriend I'm just getting a light." "Well Don't." Her two little friends stepped in but I didn't back down. " "You very aggressive!" she snapped, "We ain't want you man." One asked me if I was from England and I said yeh. She feigned bravery, "I know you cyan't live in Bahrbadus cuz if you lived hayre you wouldn't be getting on like a cunt for a light. You're pretty but you're a CUNT!" Her hand actions were classic! I laughed and laughed and laughed.
How can one distract one's self from one's self by one's self?
Amidst the people seeking endorsement from each other, I wandered around the masturbator of my own amusement.
posted by BIM @ 2:42 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
Your scary sometimes....
I'm scary??! Do a stroll around the place next time you're in and consider that these are the people with whom John Mayers is waiting on the world to change. I'm not scary-I'm scared.
are we really to be concerned with whom john mayer (and i assume you mean the singer, please correct me if im wrong) is waiting on to change the world?
Not actually C-man- I wasn't looking for JM's list of worthy candidates but rather, I was speaking to the principle of the younger generation ruling the population. This is a small country and in light of the fact that these are the spawn of those who may or may not control the economy (gio's the knowledgable one on that matter)it's a pretty dim future for BIM. And by BIM, I mean me.
Good God...
Where is Shitey Whitey's? I take it you mean Carib Beach Bar? Also - why start the cat-fight for no reason? You are being as ignorant as those you fought with, sigh!
Girl that night was so fun!!You know you had a good time , just admit it!You do need to be drunk to enjoy lights though....and you'll always have Paris...in the form of the creep(who was cheezy and ugly by the way,yes remember I gaged at the sight of him?!)who got you a free drink!LOL...
Well... only being scary is not mutual exclusive with being scared. Yeah Shitey Whitey's (It's on Bay Street Airbourne)is defiantly a place that I feel like the third wheel on a bicycle, having never gotten along particularly well with the majority of the white minority.
But I agree with you about the scariness of these people taking over the world, but I have good news, the people that are in charge of the world were no better back in their day if the stories that I hear about the going ons of the then "Carlisle Club" as I think it might have been called then are accurate.
Oh, Mr. Bourne you miss the humour. Th cat fight was pure sport. No woman responds like that to a flick of the lighter. I thought they'd get the sarcasm and respond with something equally as brave- like "he may have been your man before you left but now he's mine." They didn't. Mind you, taking me seriously was probably more amusing...but I didn't let their anxiety linger. I confess that as I left, I whispered in the one girl's ear "He's not my man, I'm fuckin'-but don't tell your friends." So ignorant, yes, I am, but not in the way you understood.
Shackles, shites was not fun, sorry. And french dude wasn't creepy, he was kinda charming in a I have nothing better to do but talk to you kinda way. LOL free drink my ass! Each G&T cost me $20.
Ha ha ha Gio, you gave me a visual of old these old white fractured hips and loose bowels getting their groove on to the left to the left... ha ha ha. Now that's one night at shites I'd hate to miss.
G&Ts for $20?? I thought rum ran free from the taps all over BBDS...
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