Canada Eh? Part 1

It used to be that whenever you passed a Canadian on the road you would look at them until you neared 5 feet or so and then together you would drop your eyes to the ground and pass without greeting. The apathy I was hoping for is not so pure anymore and I can only guess it's IZ. He talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and then starts a conversation and talks some more. When he's not talking, he's asking questions and when he's not doing that he's reading billboards embarassingly loud "What happens when geek knocks up sleek??" With that funny little accent and squeaky loud voice everyone whose within earshot is looking and smiling and dipping their toes into small shy conversation. A few years here and IZ would have the public transport system one big get to know you party.

We went to visit my father in a little town out of Kingston last weekend. IZZY's charm managed to snag him a VIA rail activity book and crayons.

My father's town is the setting of Stephen King' s next novel. There are less than a hundred buildings in the middle of the forest and 83 of them are for sale. All the lawns are decorated with the same Century 21 realators sign including the church, the hotel and the conveniece store. On the second night my sister gave up her bed to our brother and shared with IZ and I. Half way through the night she gets up and never returns. I wait for 45 minutes or so with the various explanations of irritable bowel or creepy incestuous relationship passing through my head and then it dawns on me that everyone in Tamworth is moving because the young fertile women are being stolen out of their beds to keep the population of indigenous Tamworthians from being genetically compromised. Needless to say, my father's house is now on the market with a Century 21 sign in front.

Yesterday we went to a theme park and gave IZ the thrill ride experience. After an hour of line and no drink IZ was crying and sucking and arguing that he didn't want to go on this ride and wanted to be somewhere else instead. At this point we're ready to board so I stuff snotty teary IZ into a cart and we start the chain banging climb to the summit. As it releases and that rush gets to the stomach IZ holds on for dear life and screams he's gonna fall out. The look on his face is utter fear and it doesn't change until we slow to a stop. He gets out snot and tears now windblown and says very tentatively "What ride we doin next?" After that it was smooth sailing for the rest of the day. Got to hang with my estranged cousin Vlad who introduced us to the greatest piece of music since Beethoven's 9th. I'm only praying I get my hands on a copy so I can pass it around because truly if I sang it no one would believe...

And now I'm off to shop 'til I literally drop.